I have never written a blog before. From the advice from a friend, I decided I would give it a try. I mean, why not? I have a story and history that I think is relatable to people, people who have struggled with weight or even people who have never struggled, but are now. My blog posts in the future won’t be this long, but I’d like to give you my back story. It shows you that I am just like you, and that the accomplishments I have achieved are reachable for anyone! Bad things happen to normal people like you and I, but good things happen to people like you and I too! It’s up to me to make the good things happen and not let the bad things win! It took me a long time to realize this, and since I have, I have never been happier, more fit, healthier, and more comfortable in my own skin. Let me take you back to my journey…
I grew up an only child of two working parents. I was not a chubby child but definitely not thin. I was told I was “larger” boned. Like so many people, I never felt comfortable in my own skin. I grew up with parents that made me eat everything on my plate, but watched what I ate very carefully. I was very monitored and limited in my portions. My parents meant well, but I believe this is where my eating “issues” began. When I would go over to a friend’s house, I would eat all the crappy cereal, chips, and junk I wasn’t allowed to eat at home. I would sneak into the kitchen at night, and take food to my room, because I was still hungry after dinner.
I was 14. Two masked men broke into my home while my mom and I were home, robbed us at gun point, rapped me, and held guns to the back of our heads and threatened to kill us. That’s when my self destruction took full charge of me. I started smoking, drinking, partying, binge eating, and even some bulimia. Unfortunately, I let those circumstances feed on my insecurity’s and allowed the situation to get the best of me.
My 3 daughters were born. It wasn’t until after the birth of my 3 daughters that I REALLY got large!
After the birth of my first daughter, I remember going into Mervyn’s clothes shopping with my mother-in-law and brother-in-law and having to shop in the plus size section for the first time ever. I was devastated, and my brother-in-law said, “well then why don’t you just loose weight”. I wondered, is it really that easy and something is just wrong with me?
I hit a high of 240 lbs. Size 22 (and that was tight). OUCH!
I started doing weight watchers for the umpteenth time, and the weight started to come off. I lost at least a pound a week. Why was this time different? Who knew, but it was! I remember thinking, “I know I am never going to be a size 1, I just want to be thinner and not so uncomfortable.” I set “mini” goals, and every time I dropped a size, I would go out and buy a new couple of new outfits.
I lost a total of 70 pounds, but I never worked out, and still wasn’t eating right. I wouldn’t eat fruits, vegetables, or dairy because I didn’t want to “waste” my points. I was still a “food brat”, and didn’t want to feel “deprived”. I had tons of REALLY loose belly skin, so I had a tummy tuck. At this point, 80 pounds down, I STILL did not feel or eat healthy.
I talked my husband into buying me an elliptical. Reluctantly, he bought me a cheap one, thinking this was going to be like every other workout equipment he has bought in the past, and it was going to sit there gathering dust and becoming another clothes rack. To be honest, part of me kinda had the same thoughts. But, I am proud to say we were both wrong. In fact, it was one of the most life changing, magical, amazing things that EVER happened to me. I couldn’t get enough, I started feeling awesome, started eating more fruits and vegetables, and actually caring about my health. Over time I started incorporating small weights, then big weights, stability ball, elastic bands, weight bench… building my own home gym.
I have lost 120 pounds, and i’m in a Juniors size 1 jean. YUP… me, the girl who NEVER thought she would be “small”. WHOLLY COW… Me. ME? Me of all people. I have biceps, a six pack… I have muscles!!!!!!! Never in a million years (maybe 2 million years) did I EVER think that this would be my body! 36 years old, stay at home mom of 3 girls, and in the best shape of my life! Even in high school I wasn’t this small. I love working out so much that I studied to be a personal trainer. I never took the test. I decided that this wasn’t the path I wanted. I really just want to inspire normal, everyday people: moms; teens; men; anyone that doesn’t think that being fit and healthy is obtainable. I have so much to share
SO, as I come to the end of my very first post, I want to leave you with this…
Everyone has struggles. Do not let those struggles define you, or let them determine you path. You deserve and owe it to yourself to be the best you you can be! I spent too long being a “victim” of my circumstances, making excuses why I can’t work out or eat right. I am a strong woman, and I love me! It’s time to stop make excuses, and take control of your life! Peace, love, and exercise!